Letting the tears dry inside

I hate this feeling. Wanting to cry. I want all of this shit to just go away and never come back! I want to leave this reality and submerse into my own. It's all I have that stays happy in this world. I don't want any of this other crap! And now I sound like a selfish screaming child whom nobody will answer for lack of connection. I hate being held back like this. Being entirely out of control. This life is spinning once again, and I am just as helpless now as I was then. Only now I'm more frightened. How many others must be hurt, and how many more must die before anyone gets a clue. What we're all doing here is pointless. Nobody loves anyone enough to stop caring about everything else. They can't see it. Let us just stop, take a breath, and move away from this perception of truth. I refuse to accept it. I will find the brightness in my happy today! Even if it means averting everything and everyone else to attain it. I'll find it...somehow.